Cindy (aka “The Devil”) sent me a great e-card supporting her favorite cause, animal rights/animal care. She’s probably freezing her ass off in Coudersport, PA today — unless she’s stuck in Hamburg, NY. And truthfully, since I know both places pretty well, I couldn’t tell you which place I’d rather be stuck!
Cindy always has this sixth sense about when I feel like crap about life — she’s phoned me from the bayous of Louisiana, the mountains of Colorado, and emailed me from just about everywhere else over the years to make sure I’m doing ok. (Thanks, Devil!)
For those Media Derelicts who haven’t kept up with Cindy’s travels, get in touch with me. I’ll get her email to you. She’d love to hear from you (especially when she’s stuck in Coudersport…key-yock!).
Anyway, a little while back, on a day when I was feeling a wee bit sad about things, Cindy sent me a great post: Zen Sarcasm. As we all know, I love sarcasm almost as much as I love coffee!
Probably everyone has seen this, but I love it. So, up on Blogdelirium it goes. If you haven’t seen this, it’s great:
ZEN SARCASM
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1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
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2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
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3. It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
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4. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
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5. Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
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6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
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7. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
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8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
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9. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
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10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
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11. If you lend someone $20.00 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
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12. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
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13. Some days you’re the bug; some days you’re the windshield.
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14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
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15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
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16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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17. Duct tape is like ‘The Force.’ It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
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18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
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19. Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.
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20. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
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21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
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22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
